The Vase, Part I


When I came to Sydney nearly two decades ago I was like a beautiful, delicate, fragile glass vase. Crystal Clear fine lines traced at least on the surface a seemingly flawless form. I had graduated with a bachelors degree in psychology. I was young, gregarious, humble, compassionate, generous, spirited and intellectual.

I moved to the Eastern Suburbs of Sydney and have lived here now for 15years. I mingled with people from all walks of life, a socialite who could have penetrated most groups if I wanted to although I do not play games nor tell people what they need to hear. I am a straight shooter and live authentically.

I entered the Sydney scene an open, spirited, beautiful young women with the world at her feet. I had long virginal blonde hair, no wrinkles, no damaged skin, blue eyes wide open in anticipation and full of love.

However this being said I never considered myself attractive, I felt ugly and in all honesty was a little neurotic in my attempt to beautify what I perceived to be a big unfeminine Western European – Scottish head. (Only retrospectively I realised I was somewhat beautiful, the wisdom that comes with age and life experience).

I have always been a very loving, compassionate, open-minded, generous and outgoing person so coupled with youth, humility, integrity, an intellect and vivacious outgoing nature I burst into Sydney society.

I was able to engage with everyone more so than the model bitchy friends and associates who were all smiles to your face and stabbing you in the back as soon as you turn your head. I endured years of psychological torment, physical assaults, abuse, hatred, harassment, bullying and games. So much hatred, evil, insecurity, weakness, envy, pride and greed. Women couldn’t be women and have friendships with me… No… Most played at being girls who were insecure and envious – calling me names and competing with me.

My fragile glass vase was initially scratched from the betrayal of friends and lovers. Soon people, friends, lovers, associates and strangers started chipping away at my surface, large chunks of glass smashed off, pieces started falling to the ground… Broken. Day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year I endured the suffering. I maintained an optimistic and loving approach, I never retaliated in anger or entered their games.

The psychological abuse, ongoing bullying and social marginalization was the most damaging. I survived physical assaults, death threats, an abduction attempt and a hit man. Although in the end it was the psychological abuse like a hammer that beat me down so hard, smashing the glass fragments into oblivion onto the ground.

Now. I stand stronger and have grown more resilient then I could ever have dreamed of becoming. I am like a fortified vase cast in steel and iron! I have reassembled every single glass fragment into the new vase, fortified by concrete and steel, light shines through the glass fragments, brilliant colours surround me, the fragments now form a kaleidoscope, light is everywhere. I am grateful for where I am today for it is from enduring great suffering that I now stand with a ROCK SOLID FOUNDATION! I am blessed for now here I am in Sydney, Australia – MADE IN SYDNEY! Broken down by hatred, betrayal, greed, envy, and ignorance. I picked myself up off the ground, found my core and inner strength. I now stand tall. A vase fortified with cement and a rock solid iron core, beautiful and unbreakable! A diamond in the rough.

I move forward now at peace with my past, the world, and with a wisdom gained from a decade long struggle. I am exactly where I am meant to be and I have become who God intended me to become – ready for the next chapter of my life with the tools necessary for my journey!

I would like to thank all my supporters. A big thank you to the HATERS – the bullies – the bitches. A big thank you to the psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, evil motherfuckers who broke me down. A big thank you to those behind the campaign for without you I would not have emerged invincible! Rock Solid! Resilient and beautiful. Awesome. Wonderful. A brilliant diamond of Yaweh’s eternal kingdom – for their I belong 🙏10470208_476881305788354_4692167177019947522_o Note: I have always been dignified, elegant, thoughtful and respectful. The evil people around me ruined my reputation through their words not my actions. I did at one point when I was at my lowest turn to drinking too much which the haters then used against me in their campaign as a justification for their attacks.

I would also like to comment that i was modest and my reflections now a decade later are not how i felt about myself at the time, i was not conceited or ignorant, there was no reason to warrant what happened to me over those years.

When I refer to “attacks” or “bullying” I am not exaggerating. For years I was targetted by a campaign, where strangers and people I know called me derogatory names such as: “loser”, “retard”, “dog”, “slut”, and “crazy”. I am conservative, strictly monogamous in relationships and have never done anything to warrant such remarks. Whatever happened behind closed doors between my ex and I was and is private. Rumours were fabricated and spread like Chinese whispers.

Currently, someone has stolen my photos and created fake profiles all over the Internet. In the fake profiles using my unlawfully stolen profile photos the criminal/s have uploaded sexually explicit photos which have been photoshopped with my profile images. I have never in my life posed nude nor have I ever posted sexually explicit photographs of myself online. (criminal acts committed: fraud, impersonation and defamation).

I have so many examples of direct and indirect discrimination with lack of accountability mostly due to their methodology. Death by a thousand cuts – a methodology stolen from ancient Japanese warfare where no-one is held accountable, accountability and justice is lost. Cowards.

My situation is complicated. I will provide more examples and details later on in this blog.